Saturday, April 27, 2013

Find Things

Finding what you're looking for isn't always easy, but it doesn't have to be hard! You're probably used to constant struggles with finding things. You've probably been stuck in that cycle of losing things and then taking everything apart to find what you've lost! Or maybe you're approaching this from a much more metaphysical position. Maybe you are trying to find your way.  If you're ready to stop losing your time because you either are losing things and wasting loads of time searching for them, or you are sort of wasting your life and ready to find yourself, it's time that you read:
You Know Funny's Guide to finding what you're looking for.


Imagine yourself climbing up the mountain


You're in search of the guru. Once you've found him, you've got one question to ask the guru. What do you ask? Well, can you imagine wasting your one question on where you lost your keys? Of course not. You need to keep in mind at all times that you don't want to be the guy that wastes his question to the guru on where your keys are at. In fact, can you imagine that climbing up a mountain is going to help you find your keys? Nope, sounds pretty counter-productive to me. I'd think your time would be better spent looking under couch cushions and in pants pockets.


Imagine yourself on the mountain



Now you're the guru. Do you think that you became the guru by losing your keys everyday? Of course not! Gurus don't even own keys. Gurus understand the merit of the Marxian analysis of history and have summarily done away with the ownership of private property. If you have your sights set on becoming a mountaintop sort of guru, you'll find it's worth your time to grind your teeth over Marx and Engels for a while.

Look Harder


Self-explanatory

Be the thing that you've lost


Remember, you're a mountaintop guru now. People are going to be asking you the answers of questions. If you lose something, you will have to make up for it with your own psychic awareness.

Stop Losing Stuff


Self-explanatory

Be the guru of all gurus


No one wants to ask questions to a weak guru. Who are some weak gurus in history? The list includes Teddy Roosevelt, Mike Meyers, Betsy Ross, Francis Scott Key, and Willy Wonka. You certainly don't want to be like those goons. You want to be a real guru like Muhammad Ali or Deepak Chopra.

110%, Just like Mike


Self-explanatory. Also, watch youtube videos. Search for Jordan flu game. True guru moment there. What's 110% mean? You'll know once you put in the blood, sweat, and tears.

Build Time Machine


With the time machine you can go back to the moment that you knew you had the thing you wanted and grab it (or perhaps you may want to go forwards and see what you become and then emulate). Although, depending on what version of time travelling laws you wind up being subject to, this could cause all kinds of more complicated problems, including tearing a rift in the space-time continuum.

So there you have it!


Now you're ready to go! Be a guru! Don't lose stuff! 

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