Friday, April 12, 2013

Abstract Expressionism

At no time in the history of western art has there been a movement so filled with utter vilification and rage. "When our patrons view the newest form of abstract expressionism, laconically black dot" says Samantha Heinrich curator of the Haute Museum, "they are at once terrified and driven mad." Since the opening of Henre Rice and Pieter Jurtull's black dot exhibit there have been numerous cases of severe sickness coming over those viewing the pieces. Spasms, vomiting, fainting, asthmatic coughs, nervous ticks, anxiety attacks. It's all a result of the momentous and final image of black dot.
"Black dot is about the beginning and the end" says Rudolph Heisman, Professor of Art History at the Nobel College of Art and Design in New York, "it is the first image of light and matter escaping from the size of a pinhole to form galaxies, and it is the black hole resting in the center of time and space, pulling all thought and form into its massive and moribund grip." Because of the wreckage the black dot exhibit has left in its wake, there is a lawsuit against Jurtull, Rice, and the Haute Museum. When asked if they felt any culpability for more than a dozen cases of permanent brain damage linked directly to the act of viewing black dot, the artists and museum would not come forward with any statement. However Rudolph Heisman was more than happy to comment, saying "to conceive of the absolute weight on the self as a living entity, responsible for creating meaning with every encroaching and irrepressible moment. this is what black dot is manifesting. it is the genius and horror of black dot. in the history of man, there has always been what is referred to as 'the sacred' for the Hebrews their highest artistic expression was the ark of the covenant, and to look upon it unprepared was certain and irrevocable death. the collection of black dot at the Haute is the sacrosanct relic of our times." Some have posited that black dot could be a modern version of King Arthur's sword in the stone, and suggest our leaders should be sent in to behold black dot to test there mettle. However, for now, because of the severity and range of violent reaction to black dot, the Haute has closed off public access to the exhibit. In the words of Rudolph Heisman "the world is always in need of, but never prepared for, an expression so utterly soul annihilating as black dot."

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