Thursday, August 28, 2014

How to be Awesome

Being awesome isn't all that hard if you're already awesome. If you're not awesome yet, then being awesome is quite difficult, if not impossible. Those that are awesome tend to become more awesome, while those not awesome tend to pull further and further away from awesomeness.

If this comes as a revelation, then I'm sorry to say that I've just learned what side of awesome you're on.

But here's the crucial thing to realize: there are many paths to being awesome.

If you aren't awesome now, it probably means that you've just got a lot more work to do than some to reach your goals.

I'm now basically going to list out a bunch of directives that should be followed rather closely in order to achieve your awesome goals.

1. Conceptualize awesome. People get where they are going because they had a destination in mind.

For me, this means to keep writing--to write in such a way that I would if I were being paid well to do it.

2. Think of small goals that will help move things along in practical ways.

Example: solve my outlining problem by coming up with a solution for needing to be able to visualize argumentative/narrative structure. This has always been a problem for me. I sometimes fantasize about having a crazy big wall to write everything out on. But I'd want to use hieroglyphs. Pictures can say so many things at once.

3. Try to focus on longterm achievement rather than short term gratification. This can be somewhat curbed by allowing for small ways to find short term gratification, so long as it is in service to the longterm.

4. Don't worry or think much about how far away from being awesome you are.

5. Enjoy your life one breath at a time.

6. Remember that a good summary for what you will do in a lifetime is revealed by your actions today.

7. Don't get angry, get motivated.

8. Don't worry if some of your work doesn't fall in line with your original goals. You're working at it after all.

Example: This post isn't funny, yet it's posted on a website ostensibly devoted to humor. I guess the irony of that has its comical element, but I can sympathize with fans biting their nails at Bill Murray as he takes on role after monotonously unfunny role. I truly apologize. Four years of working on a PhD in the humanities has its way replacing mirth with girth.

9. Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine . . .

10. man

11. go to heaven

12. Don't concentrate on lists. They are usually full of bogus, if not outright questionable material.

13. Don't consult the internet for as much as you have been. You should start to think of the internet as mostly being a list full of questionable material.

14. Watch out against substituting a little mistake for a bad mistake. Why not do something excellent?

15. Laugh more.

16. Enjoy your favorites. Don't let anyone take your favorites from you--especially yourself.

17. Learn as much as you can.

18. Don't worry about money but try to eat healthy foods, get good rest, and stay away from drugs and too much alcohol.

19. Write to the people doing the things you want to do. Try to learn as much as you can from them.

20. Forgive Michael Jackson for his weirdness. What will happen when you're famous, working to help out poverty stricken African nations and you discover your hidden love for golden military duds? Reconsider all those times you've chuckled at Jackson now before it's too late.

21. Pray

22. At least one time, set your alarm for 4:45 and force yourself to get up and work on your craft.

23. Wooden Pterodactyl sets hung from the ceiling

24. blah blah black sheep

25. go to Paris just once! See the lovely buildings there. Eat a salad ruined by anchovies. Realize that you should have memorized your credit card pin number before your trip. Try to stay away from the gypsies that have been seemingly multiplying since the sun started setting.

26. marry someone who enjoys you

27. make sure to eventually return to your pursuit after you've quit in disgust. Trails can be resumed.