Tuesday, April 26, 2011

New Soft Drink: Cracka-Cola

In the last three quarters soda pop sales have plummeted. Diabetes is too risky and people are cutting out the sugary stuff. In an effort to charge back up the sales charts, one drink company has revitalized their image and drink. The new brand?

Friday, April 22, 2011

When Jokes Aren't Funny

We all know the dangers of humor. Funny people meet terrible and tragic ends! Hedberg, Farley, Belushi, The Lone Ranger, Confucius. We all know the grisly stories of these comedians. I'm reminded of the Lone Ranger's dark humor. How he would shoot someone's horse while they were at full gallop for a laugh. I'm really glad that youtube didn't exist while The Lone Ranger was doing his comedy, or else there would have been copycat after copycat of his ruthless farces. It was the worst kind of comedy, but people would fill up auditoriums to see him do all his crazy gags. It was during his bank heist gag that he was mortally wounded.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Movie Review-Hanna (crap alert)

Last night I got Hanna'd. If you havn't seen the movie Hanna. Then count your lucky stars, but it is kind of important in a stupid way. That way being after having seen it, you can say that you've been Hanna'd after watching something that is of arguably superior quality, in poor taste, missing crucial elements which would have helped it make sense, which finishes abruptly.
The movie begins and ends with Hanna shooting things dead at close range, at which point a weird Red Screen pops up that says HANNA in scrawled letters. Probably, this was the worst and best way this movie could have ended. If only because once the HANNA screen pops up, you realize how well you have just been HANNA'd.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Ninja Talk

Dear Ralph,
I met a guy today who said he was a ninja. I asked him to show me. He looked at me, and then he said, "trust me, i'm a ninja." But I don't think he's a ninja.