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Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Microwaves


only microwaves today

Chuck and Bob were not stoked. The surf was nothing but microwaves.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Letter from President George W. Bush to the President of Anheuser Busch

It has been discovered that former president George W. Bush would sometimes drink too much and write letters to the president of Busch Beer. We were able to uncover one of the letters:


President Busch
            I want to ex-empt this letter by professing to you that I have been fooled again by your product lines. I had already drank either ten or lavender of your Busch beers before I realizationed I was drinking beer at all.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Nightmare on Stye Street by Frankie Martinez

frankie martinez has a stye and a nightmare
Frankie Martinez is an artist living in Charlotte, North Carolina. Check out his blog to see more of his amazing illustrations!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Snapping Turtle

a snapping turtle is being led away by turtle police who say that he just snapped




A Joke is Born


This one deserves a rather long list of credit giving. The initial idea found its origin while I was busy spreading a thin line of ketchup down each individual fry before eating them at the Diamond Restaurant in Charlotte, NC.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Martha Washington's Letter: December, 3 1776

Below, is a photograph of the original letter.

a letter from martha washington to george

transcription:

December 3, 1776

To my George

The most unfavorable of events came to pass this week.
While I was placing a log in the fire, I absentmindedly
grabbed the cutting board and threw it on the coals.
It was as if it had been a sinner cast into inferno.
Gone, gone! All lost and burnt back to the original elements.
I was distraught with sorrow at this awful turn of
events and for the better part of the evening hours
was inconsolable. I passed into a black case of the vapors.
Even now as I write, I am distressed, weighted
with thoughts of these hardships I suffer with you gone.
Oh George, do return soon from your peregrinations and
bring hope back to your utterly and abysmally wretched,
Martha Washington

ANALYSIS

It is suspected that Martha Washington was the conductor of one of the
underground railroad trains. With the aid of the Vanderbilts, she had
laid the track from Washington D.C. to Atlanta and regularly took on
passengers running away from slavery. Martha rarely slept as she worked
tirelessly to flee the slaves, because her live-in psychic painted grave pictures
of a future war between the "blue" and the "grey" in which millions of
Americans would die and all because of the unsettled issue of slavery.
This letter was written in a cypher, of which only George Washington knew.
Although we figured it out by rolling dice, eating the leaves of the bjornica plant,
and waiting on crystal visions. After applying the cypher, the letter reads:

Are you Washington your Presidentures?

For more on Washington, I recommend Washington: a Life by Ron Chernow!

The Sword in the Stone

a sword is broken as it is pulled from the stone

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Ocarina of Time

If you've ever played Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, you will know that Link plays notes on an ocarina in the game in order to complete various missions. An ocarina is a fairly obsolete wind instrument, but it is alive and well in the video game and Pete figured out that by manipulating the controls it has a one and a half octave range. Here's a schematic for how to play different notes on the ocarina:


a guide for playing notes in Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time


That's really something wouldn't you say?  Pete also found a room that plays a drum beat similar to Cosmo Canyon in FF7, and worked at it for about 3 hours before getting it just right.




Pretty nifty, eh?

Letter to Martha Washington