Tuesday, April 26, 2011

New Soft Drink: Cracka-Cola

In the last three quarters soda pop sales have plummeted. Diabetes is too risky and people are cutting out the sugary stuff. In an effort to charge back up the sales charts, one drink company has revitalized their image and drink. The new brand?
Cracka-Cola. Now, Cracka-Cola can be bought in gas stations, restaurants, and soda machines across the nation. An unprecedented explosion of drink sales has occurred in the first week.
People now line up and down the streets to purchase Cracka-Cola but as the lines have grown longer, all manner of chaos has broken out. Consumers are storming the fridges and the machines where Cracka-Cola is kept, and the effects of drinking the Cola are dastardly. Cracka-Cola drinkers are despondent and, after a period of a couple hours after drinking the Cola, become increasingly hostile and violent. "We can't stop drinking it!" a group of shiftless young men loitering around Clay Avenue in the Bronx agreed. One of their swarthy crew, who referred to himself as Dollah B. said that Cracka-Cola was cutting in to the revenue of his business. "Yeah, in comparison, Cracka-Cola is cheaper, easier to score and, as a bonus, its refreshing," Dollah B. told us in between taking long draughts from a 2-Liter of Cracka-Cola. The FDA is currently making a full investigation of Cracka-Cola and is expected to release their findings soon.

1 comment:

  1. hahaha let's face it... i think we saw yoohoo domination coming....

    ReplyDelete

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