Wednesday, March 30, 2011

What do the Wildcats need to beat the Huskies on Saturday?

April 2 marks the day where two college basketball powerhouses come together in perhaps the most epic matchup this year: Uconn, riding on unbelievable momentum and UK, heating up at just the right time.
I believe UK will have to bring two items to the table on Saturday night for success against the soaring Huskies.

1. A pair of scissors- Clearly the debate as to whether African Americans have an extra muscle in their leg area or not, remains no longer an argument in question. Now scientists are trying to discover if a select few African Americans measuring 6 feet or less, able to jam a basketball and break the glass actually have two or three of those extra muscles. The person in question for Kentucky of course, is Connecticut guard, Kemba Walker. Consequently, the wildcats must ensure their cuts are with top precision come Saturday night.

2. Poisonous Grapeade- Countless halftime shows and locker room specials have revealed enough behind the scenes action this season for all of us to be acquainted with college basketball team rituals and routines. The Connecticut Huskies have disclosed one important clue to their recent fortune during these intimate moments on the silver screen. Tell me I’m not they one that's noticed the big cooler of grapeade Kemba’s been sipping down on during these locker room peeks? For the wildcats to win on Saturday, Kemba’s shot is going to have to be off, fatally off, and Kentucky must be ready to drain and exchange like the neighbor’s pool-man.

If coach Calipari manages to equip each wildcat with this knowledge and the means to see it through, there is no doubt in my mind that Kentucky will win the game.

Open looks will of course, be very important. Most of UK's cuts will have to be made before halftime. How well the wildcats drain after the first half will then be the determining factor.

Preparation and precise execution will ensure a Wildcat win.



  1. I mean - this was funny - but I only read it with one eye, since half of me finds televised sports amazingly boring. Except ice skating. I find that terrifying.

  2. GO...TEAM!

    sorry, i just don't know very much about hockey.


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