Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Crystal Vision

It had been over a decade since Kyle last had a crystal vision. At the time he was living in Central Park writing poetry and selling tin-cans to the natives. Though prized as local color, he had not been able to provide for himself financially. Kyle became a businessman, employing raccoons to lift loose change from vending machines in exchange for acorns and shiny buttons. The second crystal vision came much as the first did, quickly and without notice. Kyle entered the trance as he handed a large raccoon a brass button. A giant eagle-headed man appeared before Kyle and spoke in a thick cockney accent. "Kyle! You bastard! Why haven't you replied to any of me message? I've called six times, me joiner! Answer the stinking phone!" Just as the Eagle headed-man finished insulting Kyle's promptness to answer calls, he vanished as if he had never been there at all. Kyle stood motionless as he stared into the sky where the messenger had been, still holding tightly onto the button, which the raccoon bit at. Somewhere far off, a phone rang and Kyle returned to reality. Jumping up from his cardboard box he released the button from his grasp, much to the rodent's pleasure, and dashed off towards the sound of ringing. The man with crystal visions shot like a bullet across the park, knocking over dogs and small children as he sailed toward the unanswered phone, his unanswered destiny. The sound of Kyle's destiny had been coming from a young lady's purse. The woman was beautiful and had the most gorgeous smile Kyle had ever seen. The vixen screamed and smacked Kyle as he plunged his hand deep into the purse. As the woman yelled for help, Kyle found the phone next to a pack of cigarettes. Yanking the phone free, he answered, "Hello? Hello? Are you there?? Hello?" A group of security officers armed with tasers rushed towards Kyle. A particularly fast officer made it to Kyle first, thrusting the taser into his gut, at which Kyle immediately buckled over as the phone dropped from his hands. As more officers crowded around poking Kyle with high-voltage tasers, Kyle could faintly hear the pre-recorded message from the phone which laid inches from his face. "Hello Ms. Vanderblume! We just wanted to remind you that your next appointment with Dr. Smoot is tomorrow at 4:15! Remember to brush so you can keep those pearly whites, pearly white!"

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