Thursday, February 24, 2011

Ralph the Cat talks about a bad job

Dear Ralph,
My dad always makes me vacuum the carpets and in the summer I have to cut the grass outside too. I don’t like doing either one of them, but I get an allowance, and that’s pretty good. I like to think about how i’m trading the lawn mowing for ice cream sandwiches. What were your worst jobs?
Your buddy,

Albert Jenkins

To:Albert Jenkins
For a while i worked a job with a wrecker service. i was living up north and there weren’t really good jobs at all, but because of the crazy weather everyone was always getting their car stuck and they had to get pulled out and towed and everything.
So i got a job driving a truck around pulling cars out of ditches and everything. the craziest part was that i was working alongside the owner of the rig. he knew how to do everything but he’d gotten a dui and then kept on doing all the towing and got in some serious trouble since he was driving around with a suspended license. so he had to have a driver, and i wasn’t very good but he didn’t seem to care, what with him taking nips off of a flask he kept in his jacket pocket. i remember that it happened all the time that i’d get the truck in some ditch and we’d have to call a different towing service to get us unstuck. that happened a lot actually. the tow trucks were 4 ton jobs and if they got in a hole there was nothing you could do other than pray to your favorite baseball team or give up fifty dollars of the days wages. the thing is, it was sort of like putting the 50 dollars in monopoly's free parking to get out of jail, because there was one day that the same wrecker service that bailed our outfit out had to call us back straightaway and bail them out. money kept on changing hands and finally we agreed to bail each other out for free from then on. this kinda thing actually happens a lot between businesses. pizza places trade food with hamburger joints and movie theaters trade tickets for dance lessons. everything pretty much has the same value. people try to pretend that everything has its own value but it actually doesn't. still, individual things can be pretty useful. after all, no amount of dancing can get a car out of ice.
Your friend,
Ralph the Cat

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