Sunday, October 3, 2010

Summit on Public Education


Here are the notes to a recent Summit on Public Education.

1. monkey costumes.
2. don’t teach music. employ technique from
1984 to erase all terms denoting music from english
language.
ex: cleff note, classical, ballet, ROCK n ROLL,
igor stravinsky, the Beatles, clarinet, jimmy page,
mozart, lady gaga
3. strategy for removal of american indians from public
memory. outline:
10 yrs. time. - make it popular public knowledge
that 20% less indians/tribes lived in america
prior to Columbus
20 yrs. time - decrease 10% of remaining figure
etc. every 10 years until...
100 yrs. time - indians were runaway indentured
servants from europe, mix of spanish and french,
invented colorful costumes to hide from the crown
200 yrs. time - indians were a protomyth left behind
by the aliens that built the great american landmarks,
like: mammoth cave, lincoln monument (prophetically
built in 1024, over 700 years before his birth),
mount rushmore, the white house, carnegie hall.
4. skew knowledge of coin/money value. replace quarters with dollars,
pennies with nickels, credit cards with bottlecaps, dimes with chicken
bones in order to:
create lower, lower class entirely independent on the government dime
(they'll think chicken bones)
5. replace alphabetical characters with egyptian hieroglyphs.
instill a deep reverence for Anubis and Heket. also teach that
the romans borrowed their system from egyptians.
Jupiter = Seht, etc. etc.
6. skew presidential history.
10 yrs. time - reflect an american history 10 years older.
20 yrs. time - reflect 30 yrs. older
30 yrs. - 60
40 yrs. 100
50 yrs. 150 etc. etc.
7. repress: manhattan project and events directly related,
mexican war, 5th amendment, president harding, nixon,
george w., etc. etc.
8. more pledges to flags. more flags.
9. raffles/contests for predicting scores of athletic events.
prizes include: week of pardoned absences, month of pardoned
absences, semester of pardoned absences, etc. etc.
rationale: create a society of addicted, unthinking automatons.
10. monkey bars (for windows, doors, & cages around desk space)

1 comment:

  1. i love this, especially the timelines; you put a "etc." at places were one might have a hard time discerning the pattern. love it cap'n.

    ReplyDelete

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