How to Save Money

In this world it's "Waste not want not".

And what does waste mean?

Waste means loss of money.
As an example: You buy a hotdog for 1 dollar and don't eat the hotdog. You throw the hotdog away. Later you are hungry and buy a second hotdog for 1 dollar. You eat this hotdog. Now you've spent 2 dollars on 1 dollars worth of hotdog.

That's waste! 1 whole dollars worth of waste.

Read on to find out lots of time tested ways to save energy and money!!!


1. Get rid of your health club membership.

Lets face it, health clubs drain a lot of your energy. If you never went to a health club, you'd have way more energy.
Instead of pushing weights around and jogging like a rat on a wheel, you'll be on your couch, watching beautiful people on t.v.
Secondly, healthy clubs cost you money.
Thusly, if you simply avoid health clubs altogether, you will save money and energy.

2. Eat raw eggs for one or two meals a day.

Eggs are cheap man. But here's something you may have overlooked. When you cook eggs on a skillet, you are using precious electric energy through your stove. There's a price tag there. If you eat the eggs raw, you'll be saving precious amounts. And if you calculate energy costs over a five year period, you'd be astounded at how much heating that skillet is costing you.
Secondly, it takes a lot of your own energy to cook those eggs. You actually have to stand there and watch the eggs. Instead of standing around watching eggs cook, you will be happily swallowing raw eggs down your gullet while laying on the couch idly watching a parade of beautiful actors and actresses waltz past you through the medium of your precious television set.

3. Don't mow the lawn.

This is a biggie. But remember, when I say not to mow the lawn, I mean don't pay anyone else to mow it either. Simply let the lawn take care of the lawn. You won't have to own or maintenance you're own lawn mower or pay someone else either. As a bonus, It's proven that people with overgrown lawns don't get their houses broken into, at least not by burglars. Maybe by squatters, but squatters are usually friendly and often have lots of their own time proven methods to save energy and money that they will freely share. Plus, you will now have a buddy to talk to during commercials of the hours of televised programming you will watch every day, eagerly waiting to see the next beautiful person appear onscreen wearing all the newest and beautiful fashions.

4. Sleep more.
Instead of just saving energy, you will be storing it.
As a bonus, if you're asleep, you won't be out spending money. In essence, you are saving money by sleeping.
And we all know that a penny saved is a penny earned.
Try sleeping with the television on. That way if you wake up in the night, you won't be met with the silent wisdom of your psyche telling you longed for truths about your existence. No, instead you'll hear gratifying sitcom audience laughter and feel the soft lights of the t.v. washing over you.

5. Get a VCR and tape record a couple hundred hours of shows.
This way you won't have to pay for cable. Paying for cable takes a lot of money.
While it will take more energy to record the shows, in the end, sometimes it's okay to use energy. But only if the payoff is really high.
In this case the payoff is high.
With one hundred hours of recorded television programming, you can watch the same delightful people in the same show over and over again until, when closing your eyes, a residual image of the beautiful world of television fills your mind completely, casting out the shadowy untelevised world.