Ralph the Cat talks about a bad job

Dear Ralph,
My dad always makes me vacuum the carpets and in the summer I have to cut the grass outside too. I don’t like doing either one of them, but I get an allowance, and that’s pretty good. I like to think about how i’m trading the lawn mowing for ice cream sandwiches. What were your worst jobs?
Your buddy,

Albert Jenkins

To:Albert Jenkins
For a while i worked a job with a wrecker service. i was living up north and there weren’t really good jobs at all, but because of the crazy weather everyone was always getting their car stuck and they had to get pulled out and towed and everything.

Ralph the Cat's Fanmail

Dear Ralph,
I’m feeling really low. I don’t really like myself and I don’t really
care about life. I wish I were somewhere else all the time and sometimes
I wish that I never even existed.

National Anthem

“Hello Kuwait!” Tom yelled, inching the warped metallic B-2 bomber across the empyrean. Tom could press all the buttons on his console by muscle memory, a result of the tireless of work of Drill Sergeant Rock Murray. D.S. Rock Murray with his bulging eyes and perfectly square jaw. “You can’t think boy. If you think I think then think again. I do. I am. Thinking’s no good in this world.” Funny enough, D.S. Rock Murray’s words were now the only thing that Tom could think about.

Ralph the Cat's Fanmail

Dear Ralph

I’m a severe hypochondriac. I mean I really can’t sleep.
I’ve tried it all dude. But. Watching your old episodes is
the cure for me. I put one in and bam! I’m asleep.

More Fanmail

Dear Ralph

I try so hard. But I can’t put the needle down. Can you send me some money?

Ralph the Cat's Fanmail

Dear Ralph

I like it how you are so brave. Where do you get your courage from?

-Your buddy
Little Jim

The Continuing Adventures of Ralph the Cat

An animated short by Theresa Jachetta and Joseph Hurtgen

Ralph the Cat meets Mayor Whiskers

An animated short by Theresa Jachetta and Joseph Hurtgen

Summit on Public Education

Here are the notes to a recent Summit on Public Education.

Ralph the Cat flies to Catlanta

A short by Theresa Jachetta and Joseph Hurtgen
The Continuing Adventures of Ralph the Cat

Sadly, the link for Ralph the Cat is broke, way broke. And I haven't talked to Theresa Jachetta since 2011, I'd guess. My guess, is that even if she were around, there's no recovering Ralph. Hindsight being 20/20, I should have recorded the file somehow. I could try to describe this short, but I don't think I'd do it justice. Suffice it to say, Ralph had a really high voice and was an excitable fellow. I think he maybe cruised to Catlanta on a big red balloon and said stuff like, "Woah! This is so crazy! I'm floating on a balloon to a big place. Holy Cow, it's a city of cats! It's Catlanta!" I'm glad you made it to Catlanta, Ralph. Maybe I'll see you there one day.

Gorilla arm successfully attached to human child.

This monday in New York City the arm of a gorilla was successfully

transplanted to a seven year old child who lost her own arm in a
shark attack earlier this summer. Post-surgery, the child reports an
unprecedented increase of strength and an unfortunate decrease of
fine motor skill ability. The little girl had been a dancer but says she
is looking into new sports like boxing and shot put.

Return of the Kings

Brett Favre’s recent return to the Minnesota Vikings has ignited a spark of inspiration that has caught ablaze throughout the sporting world of retired vets. Bedraggled bodies hibernating in late night bachelor pads fitted with flat-screens reminiscing over highlight tapes peppered with buttery popcorn have come alive again.